I bought a spunky floral sport coat today.
(Googles “sport coat vs blazer”). Hold please—looks like I’m wrong on both counts. *Ahem*
I bought a spunky floral suit coat today.
And I’m worried about it. Who, during Times Like These™, buys any type of coat, sport, suit, or otherwise? I asked my husband not once, not twice, but thrice if I was a bad person for doing so. Eventually, I decided that, yeah probably I am. But aren’t we all at our core, just bad people? And could we argue that is what makes us good? I performed an elaborate mental gymnastics routine, finishing with a back handspring and sticking a perfect landing on the check out button.
Every time I buy clothing, the panic is exactly the same: do I really need these things? I am not naked, my feet are not bare. My coffee-stained closet should suffice. Every purchase I make is carefully justified, and when it can’t be, my mental state melts like it did today. Not that my credit card statement tells an entirely monastic story (I mean after all, how can you justify beer money?)
But when I think about that suit coat and those sturdy flared jeans, I envision myself as a girl in a glossy magazine ad. The bell-sleeve wool sweater, the striped shirt with a playful knot, the yellow sweatshirt with puff sleeves embroidered with flowers, the Lands’ End leopard print cardigan that Carole Baskin herself wouldn’t pass up. The boyfriend jeans that, if I pair them with the right crisp white shirt and nude gloss, might gift me the nonchalance of Cara Delevingne.
But comparing myself to Carole or Cara does me no good. In fact, I promised myself that each item I purchased must pass one, and only one, test: Will this piece make me feel more uniquely myself? I think of the flares and bells and embroidered flowers of my youth—I’m going back there right now. How fun! A fashion adventure waits on my horizon. And that’s how I’ll look at it.
Maybe today I can talk myself into snagging the matching floral pants for this new suit jacket.
They’re on eBay.
Next steps: Drink a glass of water, check in on those pants, and wear something that makes you feel invincible today.
Lands’ End does leopard print, how about that?