You got so afraid one day, some time ago, that you believed the internet would gobble you up.
You convinced yourself people would screenshot your earnest emails and eviscerate you beyond recognition. You had nightmares—waking in cold sweats—for days. The fear numbed you, left you feeling the pressure of a wail in your throat without a faucet handle to release it. In the end, it was nonsense. Yes. You made it all up.
And that’s okay.
Whatever you are catastrophizing today, bite down harder. Let it leave you staring at a wall, alone and flooded. You are a feeler. You feel things. You are a thinker, too, and you are the least special person in the world. Your problems don’t matter. Here is what does matter: That you still like being alone with the sound of your heartbeat. That no one feels lonely when you pull them into your rhythms.
If something scares you, face it. Or, turn your back and go watch 30 Rock instead. You have the privilege of privilege and of agency, and you do not have to pursue the music that doesn’t match your step. Fear protects us, fear holds us back, fear sets us free. Listen to her. She’ll tell you what she wants.
You will know when you see her: the mother shielding you from danger; the weeping child in need of an embrace; the self who says, “this is not for me.”
There is celebration in letting go.
Next Steps: Drink a glass of water, *don’t* re-read an email seventeen times before you send it (try sixteen times just this once), and say no to something. It is a good habit to practice.